Thursday, 16 June 2011

Musings - Mama Kat's Workshop (16th June 2010)

Barefoot and hormonal…describe an incident that upset you when you were pregnant, but now looking back makes you laugh.

When I was pregnant I was never particularly hormonal. I never ranted or raved or found myself in fits of anger / tears / craziness. In some ways it was a bit of a disappointment but on the whole it was whoo hoo with relief.

But there was one incident, back when I first found out that I was pregnant... I sort of freaked out. Let me set the scene...

I had spent 42 months failing to get pregnant. I had been through tablets, laparoscopy, injections, the indignity of 'THAT' internal scan chair, egg retrieval, insemination, that awful week of waiting, failing to be pregnant, having my heart broken.

So the month after that, when I started to feel pregnant, I didnt belive it. There were so many signs but when you have been waiting 42 months you don't take them serious.

Then when my period was five weeks late I took a test.
I WAS PREGNANT!

Cue freak out!

What if this was just the artifical hormones talking?
What if I am pregnant and things are now growing in the wrong place?
What if something is wrong because I so recently had treatment?
What if I have to wait until the 12 week scan to answer my questions?
What if due to the hormones I have ten of them growing in there?

WHAT IF? WHAT IF?! WHAT IF???!!!

Cue hysterical and overly dramatic sobbing.

Luckily Assisted Conception whipped me in for a six week scan and I got to see my baby, the size of a grain of rice, growing nicely (on her own and in the right place). Phew.

Looking back, now I get to the point of this post, I realise that the crying and the frantic questioning was most likely due to the influx of baby hormones coupled with not being prepared to be pregnant. Ridiculous, I know, I had nearly four years to get used to the idea. Daft blonde!

Which is what makes me laugh, I had spent all that time trying to distance myself and be as shoulder shrugging as possible and the second reality hit I went nuts.

Worth it though. Plus its another story to tell the kid...  Even if she is likely to pull the attached expressions at me. :)

Mama’s Losin’ It

3 comments:

  1. ps. Can a ten week old baby already think her Mother is crazy? :) x

    ReplyDelete
  2. Getting such a beautiful little girl must have made all that waiting worth it:) ( from MK's)

    ReplyDelete

Go on... say it. :) xx

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