Tuesday, 31 May 2011

Photo - Sleepy babies... again...


Having a cuddle. Mummy and Daddy hiding just out of shot.
Let us all sing together... there were four in the bed and the little one said...
:) xx

Monday, 30 May 2011

Photo - Lazy bones...


You don't get much lazier than this... :) xx

Sunday, 29 May 2011

Book Challenge: Book 4 of 30 - Book That Makes Me Cry...

Book 4: Book That Makes Me Cry

I loved to read as a child and I guess my passion for turning pages grow along side my bones. I would read everything and anything though it was only once I hit twelve that I started to read heavier themed stories such as Point Horror, Judy Blume and the book I am going to detail below. I remember reading it and feeling the depth of its unfairness, the hope, the love and ultimately the pain of its conclusion. It touched me and as a young reader it was my first foray into a book that actually brought tears to my eyes.

'The Boy In The Bubble' By Ian Strachan.

Description (courtesy of Amazon.co.uk):
Adam was born with a severe immune deficiency and he has lived most of his 15 years in an oxygen tent. Anne is forced to visit him with the rest of her class and chooses him as the subject of her school project - though she doesn't really know why.

(Unfortunately I was unable to find a lengthy description of the story but then it would be better to read it yourselves anyway to truly appreciate how great it is).

Saturday, 28 May 2011

Musings - What we have left...

A couple of weeks ago I attended the funeral of a work colleague. In recent months I only saw her occasionally but I had promised to track her down so that we could meet after I had given birth. She passed away before she had the chance to meet my daughter and that breaks my heart slightly.

This young woman was only 31 when she died. Hospital tests led to an enforced stay, to several operations before she was resigned to the fact that she would never return home and that the end was now frighteningly close. I do not know the details of her passing, I guess it is not something you ask. But I do know about her send off and how warmed she would have been to see a full church in attendance.

Her favourite and most beautiful songs were played and a slide show of photographs from child to adult were shown. It was lovely, haunting and awful all at the same time. Tears were shed a plenty by all and everyone was left to feel the tragic truth that we are all fragile to the call of death.

Once I was home, and alone with my thoughts, I realised that Katharine is now relying on me to die in old age. Thoughts whirled... and I came to the slightly panicked conclusion that I need to make sure that those around me know enough of who I am to paint my picture to her if needed. It's frightening but if I begin to prepare journals, letters, stories am I merely tempting fate?

For now I will continue this blog in the hope that one day, hopefully with me still here, I can share it with her.

xx

Friday, 27 May 2011

Photo - Oh how she grows...

I took this photograph of Katharine on Wednesday (24th), it scares me slightly the speed at which she is growing. I fear I will wake up one morning, she'll be fifteen, i'll be forty five and I will find myself talking her out of a tongue piercing.


But for now I can continue to appreciate how cute she is. :) xx

Thursday, 26 May 2011

Musings - Mama Kat's Workshop (26th May 2011)

Write a poem about starting over

New Start, New Heart...

I always took for granted the things I would get,
My dreams for the future, I figured, were an easy bet.
I had my man, my ring, my whole, almost, it was complete,
Just a child was needed to make our snapshot look neat.

We made the decision, a conscious, to try,
To conceive a baby, his laugh, my eyes.
But with each month that passed, unfulfilled, my heart would break,
I think, for I knew, it was not just my dream at stake.

It hurt to see hope in others when I had none,
For my glass once half empty was now dry as a bone.
We sought assistance, medical, but they found nothing amiss,
It was then that I knew, sobbing, my heart might not survive this.

With nothing to fix, to sort, to right,
It was straight to IVF, its procedures and the like.
The needles were not painful to skin, pricked, just to mind,
I prayed for strength from inside, deep, that I might find.

I ghosted through injections, retrieval, implantation with fear,
My, our, dream was so close but failure as equally near.
And failure won out, bled, broke the last heart slivers I owned,
Taking with it my breath, hope, reason, life again was postponed.

Then a miracle struck, Gabriel, Angel, his pity made a spark,
A beating took root, grew, something inside made its mark.
It fluttered, then kicked, then expanded and strived,
Katharine Lorelai, on April 6th, our daughter she arrived.

After over four years, sigh, thinking all was lost,
Here was our prize, pink, podgy, perfection embossed.
Bits of me, my man, our folks, our ancestors past,
Now our motivation for a future, hope springing at last.

So while once I had a crumpled, dented, shattered heart,
I look at my daughter and the healing starts.

xx

Mama’s Losin’ It

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Musings - Getting myself out there...

I have spent some time over the last few days joining blog networks and the like in an effort to be inspired and hopefully inspire others. I started my own community, I posted to a workshop and I found some excellent sites that I will visit again and again.

But am I doing the right thing? Do I really want to be known to random people all over the globe? I fear ridicule and judgement... that's natural right?

I need to suck it up, don't I? I need to embrace it all and enjoy the ride!

Here goes...

xx

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Musings - Time flows...

Now that I am on maternity and in theory should have an extra 8 hours a day to get stuff done I am left wondering... Where on earth does my time go?

How did I ever cope working full time and managing to do everything else that comes with being a woman and a wife. And now a mother. I get up at the usual early bird time but then suddenly it's lunch time, then tea time, then bed time and then I wake up again.

So in order to slow down my days I am going to make myself another colour coded schedule. And stick to it! I just need to schedule in some time to do the schedule.

I think mondays will be read my book day, she says... Dreaming.

Xx


Blogging without my sofa - using BlogPress from my iPhone.

Sunday, 22 May 2011

Burped - How inconvenient...

I think i jinxed it, you know. I should never have made the plan for wee hours writing. My daughter has only gone and started sleeping though.

On one had I am thinking oh damn it yet on the other I am thinking... YOU GO GIRL!

Now all I need is to train her not to scream during the day when she claps eyes on me switching on the laptop. I will get some writing done, I will, I will, I will!

Morning all. :) xx


Blogging without my sofa - using BlogPress from my iPhone.

Location:Not Katharine's Kitchen

Friday, 20 May 2011

Question: 21

Will I be a pain in the neck if I take the baby and the pram to Ikea? xx

Burped - Awwww bless...

I don't care what any of you say, ha ha, my daughter is the cutest baby ever!


View with sound and smile yourself silly. :) xx

Thursday, 19 May 2011

Musings - Mama Kat's Workshop (19th May 2011)

List ten favorite things about one of your favorite people.

I suppose I should start by mentioning that my Mother is one of my favourite people.

Is that a little cliched? Who cares! She's ACE.

I wouldn't be the woman I am today if it wasn't for her and hopefully I will be able to pay it forward in a way that in thirty years time my own daughter might be sat somewhere, blogging, and saying the same thing about me.

Anyway, I should get listing... Here are my favourite things...

1. Crazy:
Off her rocker, a term I often use to refer to the matriarch. My mother has many eccentric and crazy traits that make being her offspring always entertaining. From her array of socks, obsession with supermarket toy machines (in the hope of getting a Sponge Bob Square Pants ball in every colour for the Pooch) and her ability to tease my Father until he can't breathe for laughing; I never know what to expect.

2. White Hair:
In her mid thirties, with my help I imagine, her blond hair started to turn white. Nothing drastic just typical colour changes that come with age. Why is this a favourite thing you ponder? Because my crazy Mother insists that this is her 'platinum blonde' stage of life and that models everywhere will be paying a fortune for the 'Lorna Look'. She pulls a silly expression when she says this which is hilarious.

3. The Music:
Growing up my music taste was warped. The influences I had were eccentric to say the least. My Mother insisted on playing me The Osmonds, Hermon's Hermits, Phil Collins, Elvis, Simply Red, Rod Stewart, Starship and many more. When you couple that with my Father's David Bowie and Eagles it's not surprising I like everything from Nickleback to McFly. I love her for it though as she made sure the house was always full of laughter and singing.

4. Dandelions:
She hates weeds, even taught the dog to bite the heads off the yellow dandelions which sadly didn't bode well for the daffodils or the marigolds. Her aversion is so funny that she often refers to them as the enemy. Quite often I will return home and wonder what is missing from the garden then realise that she has had a sneak round and hacked away.

5. Retirement
At 54 years old my Mother took early retirement so that she can be at home to have Katharine during the day when I go back to work. She is amazing to be doing it, especially when you think she is going to be looking after the crazy pooch at the same time. I gave birth in April but she retired in January, figured she needed resting time (that was her excuse anyway). :)

6. Traditions:
She loves her traditions. We always bake Mince Pies the week before Christmas, have a Christmas Eve present, she still insists on buying my winter coat despite my being 30, she texts me at ten every morning, she feeds the local ducks with posh bread every Saturday, I buy her a mini rose bush every Mother's day on request and whenever she eats Maltesers it is always her mission to see how many she can fit into her mouth. They might be silly traditions, and by no means have I listed them all, but they are who she is and I love her for them.

7. Many Fathers:
Much to the rolling of my Father's eyes, my Mother has this thing about telling me who my real Father is. There are three main contenders for the role, Donny Osmond (of Puppy Love fame), Martin Shaw (of The Professionals fame) and Jimmy White (of Snooker fame). Growing up she would often shout from the other room 'Your Dad's on TV' or 'You certainly didn't inherit your Dad's voice'. It's a good job none of these men were in Halifax at the time of my conception, ha ha.

8. Sense of humour:
You might have gathered through the rest of the list that my Mother likes to keep life entertaining. She has a great sense of humour which makes everything fun, even in my lowest moments she can make me feel better with a quip or a silly look. She has gotten me through the last few years by keeping me on the bright side.

9. Peas in a pod:
One of the favourite things I love about my Mother are the things that she passed down to me. Physical things such as hair colour, eye colour, my nose, a mole on my right index finger, my laugh and we even have a strange vein the same on our left leg. And various other elements such as her love of books, obsession with coats and hats, time keeping, need for routine and tradition and love of those that are close to me. We are peas in a pod, very close and ofter squished together... though not green. :)

10. My Rock:
My very favourite thing about my Mother is that she is my rock, always had been and always will be. She has held me up through heart break, evoked hysterical laughter, given me the ability to laugh at myself, be compassionate yet strong and know who I am. But mostly this woman has given me an amazing example of how to raise a daughter.

I only hope I can do her proud with mine. xx


Mama’s Losin’ It

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Photo - Me and him...

I was sorting out my photos that I had tranferred from my old phone to the laptop when I upgraded and I came across this one. It was the photograph we took to prove our identity during our failed IVF treatment.

While it does make me feel a little sad, I can't help but love how cute we are. :)
Plus we have Katharine now so I shouldn't feel too sad. xx

Burped - Gutted...

I have just spent the last hour typing a post in my iPhone. It was epic, about my dreams, aspirations, fears and the person I want my daughter to see me as.

But as I hit publish, despite saving several times, it is all lost.

I don't have the heart at 5:22 to think of it all again. I am too drained from all the self revealing that it took to write it in the first place. :(

So I am just going to get up and start the day and hope that now I don't have my post to glare at me from the screen I will still follow-through with all that I had said that I would.

Gutted. Xx


Blogging without my sofa - using BlogPress from my iPhone.

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Burped - Who slept through...

Now the early morning feed blog is only going to work if both parties, eater and feeder, don't sleep through the 2am feed. I am conscious that Katharine might have been up and waiting but when I woke at 4:30am she didn't strike me as a baby who had been screaming for hours. Should I feel guilty? I have been subjected to 45 minutes of silly baby grins so I am taking that as forgiveness.

So, I think I promised a review?

Fast and Furious 5, I think the fact that I was able to stay awake from start to finish is a hint to its great entertainment prowess. All the old cast were back, those that hadn't been killed off in the previous four movies anyway, so the chemistry that made the other offerings work was still present this time.

Vin Diesel looked as impressive as ever, if a little squishy around the edges, which made his cat fight with Dwayne Johnson amazing to watch. It's not often that you see these two huge guys evenly matched and here you were able to see the chaos that such a match made. Plus being a woman I couldn't help but appreciate all that bulk, ha ha.

The plot was entertaining if a little far fetched but the stunning car work made up for it. The interaction between all the characters also kept you right there in the abandoned warehouse with them, it just worked.

This film also had a certain amount of sentiment and feeling that the other films didn't which I consider a good thing. Not only did it show that the franchise had matured but that the characters had too. With the first film having a 2003 release it would have been silly to think that the goals, feelings and relationships of Dominic's crew would not have evolved by 2011.

The plot twists and turns were as fun as the car chases, as was a witty script. For an action film that always had the potential to be just about the cars, Fast and Furious 5 was well rounded and well worth a watch on the big screen.

8.5 / 10 - yes it was that good.

:) xx

Ps. If you do go and see it you need to watch to the end of the credits for additional scenes that will leave you gobsmacked!

Location:Katharine's Kitchen

Monday, 16 May 2011

Burped - And we're off...

Before I start I would like to clarify that location wise Katharine's Kitchen is actually me propped up with cushions, baby on my lap, in the master bedroom bed. I do have a lovely rocking chair in the nursery bought specially for feeding but with Katharine still being Moses basket bound in our room it's easier just to flop on the bed. Besides, this special chair is so comfy that the pair of us tend to fall asleep and while the lovely carpet is cushiony under foot I don't think there is enough padding to bounce the baby when she hits the deck after my arms go slack.

So master bed it is with husband and pooch snoring beside us. It's warmer anyway with my feet under the covers and my iPhone in my spare hand. :)

Tomorrow I am back in the hospital but only for the morning and only for my glucose test. I am a little nervous about finding out if my gestational diabetes has stayed with me postnatal but as there are worse things to be saddled with in life I just need to suck it up. I have arranged for the youngsters to go to Grandma's where I will join them for the day when I'm done.

Quite a dull first segment, I guess, but I did need to break myself in gently. I will think of something better to say next time... Hey, I might even tell you about Fast and Furious 5 which we saw yesterday. Yes, a review it will be.

Now its time to try and finish the bottle, burp and get the heck back to sleep.

Catch ya later. Xx

Blogging without my sofa - using BlogPress from my iPhone.

Location:Katharine's Kitchen

Sunday, 15 May 2011

Musings - New segment...

I have decided to add a new segment to my blog. As I am now an excellent early morning multi-tasker (by early morning I mean anytime that Katharine demands food between midnight and the dawning of the sunrise) I am going to blog a random, sleep deprived, musing.

I am going to label these musings... Burped. Obviously these blogs will be in honour of my offspring, hence the title.

So let us see what my brain has to offer between heating, feeding, burping, cuddling and trying in vain to get back to some zzzzzzz.

Night for now... Xx

Location:Katharine's Kitchen

Wednesday, 11 May 2011

Photo - Start as we mean...

I might have mentioned it in previous blogs what a bookworm I am and how addicted I am to collecting series of books and whole collections from my favourite authors. Well,  I am determined that Katharine will be as big a fan of the written word as I am. Therefore I have started her bookcase for her...


So far we have all the Beatrix Potter books and Roger Hargreaves' Mr Men.
Any suggestions on the next collection to purchase would be welcome.
:) xx


Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Photo - My Latest Project...

I decided some weeks ago that I would love to have somewhere in the nursery where Katharine's name is visible. After pricing various options I found that the cheapest way to do this was to buy some plain wooden letters and decorate them myself.


After purchasing all the bits I needed here is my progress so far.
What do you think? :) xx

Tuesday, 3 May 2011

Photo - Watching the wedding

The whole world took a little time out this year to watch the Royal wedding, to see William and Kate as they started their journey to one day become old marrieds...
the whole world including my daughter.


Katharine even dressed up for the occasion in her pretty frock... admittedly, after 20 minutes the excitement got a little too much for her and she fell asleep. :) xx


Musings - Day time TV...

I love my house. It has its foibles, its leaks and its typically Yorkshire set out... but when it's silent, well, it's eerie. It creaks and moans, you can hear the neighbours, sometimes the traffic but it is usually worse when you hear nothing at all. The worse thing is 110 years of history speaking silently at you through the uneven walls and narrow servant-like staircase.

So in order to avoid the eerie, and not because I am now a temporary stay at home Mum, I have taken to having the television on. And yes, day time TV is appalling. But then I came across E4 with a morning schedule that allowed me to pay little attention but at the same time not annoy me with its background buzz.

So once the husband has left for work here is what Mother, Daughter and Pooch have to watch....

8:00 - Wildfire - a strange little programme about young people, horses and tangled story lines that while tangled are so easy to follow it is almost comical.
9:00 - One Tree Hill - Basketball and babes, apparently.
9:55 - Friends - Classic old school with all the gang, currently showing the last series (I think).
10:20 - Gilmore Girls - Whoop whoop. The very show our daughter was named after. Lorelai and Luke are currently shaky while the usual craziness is going on around them.
11:20 - Desperate Housewives - Really? This is American Suburbia? How ridiculous yet... addictive!

Then at noon everything starts to repeat itself. This is when I start to introduce the 5 week old, impressionable Chicky, to the world of our DVD collection.

That however is a whole other post... :) xx
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