Musings - Mama Kat's Workshop (26th May 2011)

Write a poem about starting over

New Start, New Heart...

I always took for granted the things I would get,
My dreams for the future, I figured, were an easy bet.
I had my man, my ring, my whole, almost, it was complete,
Just a child was needed to make our snapshot look neat.

We made the decision, a conscious, to try,
To conceive a baby, his laugh, my eyes.
But with each month that passed, unfulfilled, my heart would break,
I think, for I knew, it was not just my dream at stake.

It hurt to see hope in others when I had none,
For my glass once half empty was now dry as a bone.
We sought assistance, medical, but they found nothing amiss,
It was then that I knew, sobbing, my heart might not survive this.

With nothing to fix, to sort, to right,
It was straight to IVF, its procedures and the like.
The needles were not painful to skin, pricked, just to mind,
I prayed for strength from inside, deep, that I might find.

I ghosted through injections, retrieval, implantation with fear,
My, our, dream was so close but failure as equally near.
And failure won out, bled, broke the last heart slivers I owned,
Taking with it my breath, hope, reason, life again was postponed.

Then a miracle struck, Gabriel, Angel, his pity made a spark,
A beating took root, grew, something inside made its mark.
It fluttered, then kicked, then expanded and strived,
Katharine Lorelai, on April 6th, our daughter she arrived.

After over four years, sigh, thinking all was lost,
Here was our prize, pink, podgy, perfection embossed.
Bits of me, my man, our folks, our ancestors past,
Now our motivation for a future, hope springing at last.

So while once I had a crumpled, dented, shattered heart,
I look at my daughter and the healing starts.

xx