Oberservation - Sorry love, I'm just fat!

There is nothing worse than going over to a woman who has a curvy figure, patting her stomach and saying “Congratulations I didn’t know.”

Especially when:
a) You are surrounded by people,
b) You don’t really know that person,
c) The woman isn’t in fact pregnant just chubby,
d) The woman is infertile!

This happened to me this week.

I was mortified at being called fat, mortified at being called something I may never be and then mortified because I felt I had to apologise when the other woman got embarrassed at a situation SHE had caused.

Needless to say she won’t be visiting my office for a while and I will be hitting the gym!

Poem - My Other Life (A Sonnet)

My other life is my parallel, the road I did not walk,
Yesterday’s decisions, reversed, unmade, unchalked.

Obligatory reasoning, no longer ruled by fate,
The very wishes granted that may turn substandard great.
Here Hope’s revered above caution, strength instead of fear,
Escapism from the spiral from which I can not steer.
Rigid expectations, once daunting no longer passed,

Life being the ultimate journey, one try, one shot; one chance.
In real life I flounder but in either I stand proud,
Fortune favours dreamers and so I speak out loud…
Everything about me, makes me who I am,
... neither life is perfect, neither life is damned.

Diary - March 19th to 25th 2010

Diary -19th to 25th March

This week has been about three things…

1. Congratulations and celebrations do da do do da do.
2. More congratulations for something entirely different.
3. Gods and Monsters - you can not be serious???

So there were celebrations a plenty. Friday involved banners and balloons in the garden followed by an evening of Italian at Julio’s. Don’t you just love it when the guy who serves you at the bar has a broad Yorkshire accent but by the time he reaches your table to take your food order his accent is thicker than Brando’s in Part 2.

Saturday was odd bits of Salad and Trifle at the Grandparents with way more balloons than the garden has seen the day before. Family came and went, cousins bickered, the dog barked, my uncle complained – the usual really.

Then Sunday we travelled to The Sportsman Inn for an entertaining carvery, a cute chef (yeah I know I shouldn’t have noticed that!) and a sparkler in my Father’s pudding. Actually it was more like a firework so it was a good job he had chosen the cheesecake to keep it upright… I fear the consequences of a sloshing fruit salad.

Towards the end of the week my husband got a job. After being redundant and unemployed for over a year it was a great boost to both his sanity and our financial situation. Now all we need is a lottery win to pay off the debts and a new routine to make sure we get up on time and keep the pooch happy. He will be designing, like before, only this time for a lovely local company with a boss called Ernst. I have pledged to provide lunch but am insulted that he STILL refuses to take to work the Robot lunchbox I got him. I guess I will just have to remain the one with quirk in our household… until we have kids who I fear will be just as barmy as I.

Bit of a slow week really after the weekend of parties. We put a plan together for the Funeral, I got stressed at work, my best friend came over for tea and several nights I couldn’t sleep. But none of that is blog worthy so I will do better next week. Although I will be detailing funeral business so I am not likely to be overly jolly then either.

Alas. March is not my favourite month at all!

Oooh just remembered… my sister in law wants the four of us (details later) to have a joint birthday party in September for our 30ths. Gods and monster themed… yeah my eyebrow hit my hairline too.

Next week… I will be contending with the In Laws.

Poem - To Leave

To Leave

Take up your hand and hold it to my heart;
It beats for you,

Listen to my breathing, shallow, painful;
A soul trembles at your touch,

Look into the blue that’s enraptured by this moment;
My eyes crave every detail,

Move closer and take note our reaction;
I feel that you feel,

Whisper those secrets you can no longer keep;
You love me,

Kiss me and seal your confession and make this real;
For I taste your confusion,

Don’t let go… your hand drops… why is it that you cry;
Please… please don’t say goodbye;

Your words ache, you will love me all your life time;
You can’t stay?

I counter, I will love you all my life time;
But not this, never on this day.

Zen - Mixing it up!

Here are another 10 songs thrown at me without any particular order or sense of flow. I do so love my Zen (my ipod is just that little too with the now)...

1. Christina Aguilera - Primer Amor
2. Jack Johnson - Never Know
3. The Jam - David Watts
4. *Nsync - Crazy For You
5. Mcfly - All About You
6. Beverley Knight - Come As You Are
7. Rod Stewart - These Foolish Times
8. J J Cale - Magnolia
9. Maroon 5 - Tangled
10. JC Chasez - Right Here (By Your Side)

Photo - The 60th Cake

This is my father both young and old... loving the specs Pop! :) x

Diary - March 12th to 18th 2010

Diary - March 12th to 18th

This week has been about three things…

1. Finding entertainment in the most random of places,
2. Finding that ‘team’ is only a labelling word for a group too easy fractured,
3. Finding that I am ill prepared to welcome in the 60th.

‘A crazy ass week’ just about sums up this middle of March week. Sure February and January had a certain amount of the ludicrous and the lunacy but March… always seems to out do itself.

With my father’s 60th birthday looming at the end of the week I found myself lacking any substance to ‘get the party started’. The gifts I had bought seemed inadequate for such a milestone, the balloons were still flat in their packet and the cake had yet to be bought. Speaking of the cake… me and the mother of my family unit had picked out a couple of embarrassing photos so all that was needed was for my local leading supermarket chain to work their edible magic and adorn the sponge with a grinning Frederick. I also got the idea that a novelty t-shirt might be entertaining so I purchased a round-neck, some iron on transfer sheets and dug out the family album. Pictures will follow!

A few days previous we girls took a trip to find a sofa. We looked and looked but as the person buying the thing wanted it to ‘jump out at her’ in order for her to buy it we ended up in Pizza Hut empty handed or rather without receipt; I don’t think we had actually planned on carrying a three-seater home with us. Anyway in The Hut we found ourselves entertained. Davey B was to be our waiter. Not only was he cute as a button (in a 26 year old way) but he was training to be pilot. For a waiter he also had an over familiarity that was endearing, a memory that was impressive bearing in mind he remembered all our toppings and a cheeky smile that evaporated any of our ennui.

With regards to the workplace move, which I have been wittering on about, not only did our belongings change hands but so did our loyalty. For a team that last week was understanding and strong we very quickly fell apart. Tensions rose, tears fell and tantrums took hold. The situation was stressful enough but finding that we didn’t actually have anywhere to go, realising that others were favoured above ourselves and running into a manager that frankly spoke to us like they didn’t give a damn… the week was hard. Some even found the idea of coming in so painful that they didn’t even bother to show up. I hope it gets better. I don’t think I can work for 18.5 hours in deathly and tension filled silence. Alas.

On a brighter note my car passed its MOT. But sadly Kieran’s Nan passed away on the Sunday. She was ready though bless her and I guess at the end that is all we can ask for.

Next week… it’s party, party, party. Literally… three parties!

Question: 9

What do you do when there is so much to achieve but so little time? Drink? Be merry? Panic?

Zen - Random is on!

Here are ten songs that I was just played on shuffle (one after the other - no cheating)...

1. Plain White Ts – Tearin’ Us Apart
2. Eagle Eye Cherry – Been Here Once Before
3. Texas – I’ll See It Through
4. Sheryl Crow – Maybe Angels
5. Toploader – Do You Know What Your Future Will Be
6. The Calling – Things Will Go My Way
7. Texas – 0.34
8. Nnenna Freelon – If I Had You
9. McFly – Hypnotised
10. LeAnn Rimes – Twisted Angel

Diary - March 5th to 11th 2010

Diary – March 5th to 11th

This week has been about three things…

1. The constant upheaval of moving and the knowledge that my house would be a nightmare to pack,
2. Making a Shepherd’s pie all by myself (Mother on the other end of the phone does not count),
3. Naughty dreams about mulleted teenagers.

We finally moved my friend into her new place. Took about two days but it was worth it to get her away from the rats and the sex shop. Don’t get me wrong, she wasn’t living in hell… just next door. Thank God there was a lift at her new place. There are only so many High School Musical novelty items and Sidney Sheldon books a girl can carry in one go without adding the fear of stairs to the mix.

The highlights of the move included a communal stairwell littered with soap powder, ‘misplacing’ a bookcase somewhere in the building so as not to dismantle it or get it down the stairs and finally Kieran trapping my friends arm in the boot of the car. The fool stuck her arm in there but either way the sickening crunch when he slammed the hatchback was nasty. She milked the bruises though so alls well and all that.

Back at the workplace ranch there was also still packing to be done. I have photos of the eighty crates we filled with files and folders and what not. There were eight just for the kitchen and I swear I filled four just with the reception stationery. It got to the point where I couldn’t be bothered anymore so I just threw things in a box, stuck a sign on the top reading ‘ARCHIVE’ and hoped for the best. I’ve moved too often to be phased, I know for a fact those boxes will never be opened again in my life time. That is unless the College sewer pipes burst again and they have to swill out the…

Also this week there was a humorous yet embarrassing moment with a Chinese woman and a lemon chicken order. You know something is drastically wrong when you ring up your local Chinese take away and not only do they recognise your voice but they don’t even feel the need to ask for your address. This happened to us this week. Just goes to show that giving them regular service for seven years has paid off. This week recognition… next week a free spring roll! Here’s hoping.

Mid-week, while feeling exasperated I checked my emails to be surprisingly yet thoroughly entertained. Thanks RB, your wit worked wonders.

Next week… I’m going to see if the WiiFit remembers my name.

Photo - Latest Rohan

Indulging her father as he sticks the camera at her... again. :) x

Musings - My work area (for now... sob)

Before I move sites I decided to take a couple of photographs of my work area. This way I can remember what it was like to work somewhere civilised with a window and a desk big enough to actually work at.

Out of all the photographs that I took these were my favourites.

My lucky crab - he is dysfunctional, alas.

My desk - note the mobile phone and the Bagpuss mug -
I get work done... honest!

My Harry, my Cone, my Badge and my strange little purple Fuzz -
things that mark my desk as mine.

As of next week who knows where I will be, what my environment will be like... oh if only my Crab wasn't so lazy and Harry's little plastic wand was real. x

Lyrics - He summed up my life...

I think Jason Walker summed up my current life when he sang...

I don't know where I'm at,
I'm standing out the back,
And I'm tired of waiting.

Waiting here in line,
Hoping that I'll find,
What I've been chasing.

Musings - Colour coded life.

Having already established that I am a Geek (and proud) I am not afraid to blog about my Colour Coded Life. Last week while needing an escape from all the moving and the box shaking I decided to have a little play around with excel.

I wondered what my life would look like if I set it up as a weekly diary and colour coded the sections. Now I admit it is extremely useless and still incomplete but I entertained myself for 10 minutes which I think was worth it. :)

I intend to finish it and take stock. Plan some me time and finally have an answer as to 'where the hell does my time go???'.

(I think I might use the colour red for time spent watching CSI - though that would be a whole load of crimson on there.) x

Diary - February 26th to March 4th 2010

Diary - Feb 26th to March 4th

This week has been about three things…

1. The escapades of Saturday; I didn’t understand a word he said,
2. Packing, moving, hoisting and the emotions attached,
3. Visiting Becca and loving her place (as did Rohan who got an invite).

Saturday started with avid expectations, I always look forward to going to the cinema with child like glee. After having my hair cut, very fetching, I collected my friend and we headed along the ever trudging A629. Why is it that on the days we decide to visit the flicks we always encounter the Galpharm Stadium on the day of some ridiculous hillbilly sports match!?

People walking in the middle of the road (50 points please), no car parking spaces and an attendant with an accent as indecipherable as the murdering chap from True Blood. He had the cheek to scoff at us though I couldn’t quite make out what he scoffed. It was just his tone you know… arse.

Finally after being forced to wander around Huddersfield for two hours, get stuck in traffic for forty-five minutes, we ended up arriving for the next showing thirty minutes late. Luckily we had only missed eight minutes of the film, however, which was a good job as ‘Leap Year’ was amazing. I will post a review for sure. Come to think of it I still owe one for Avatar.

Also this week I jazzed up my blog. How do you like it? Who knew that Photoshop could wield such creative wonder. Not me but aha I do now. I especially got excited when I ‘plastic wrapped’ my title painting and got such a great effect. Geek? Me? For sure!

There has also been some progress this week with regards to the site I work at. After two years of ‘umming’ and ‘ahhing’ we are finally moving out. On the 15th. Short notice much. So the rest of this week has been spent packing and sorting. I even found a box that I had never sorted from moving sites the last time. Oops. It feels kind of odd to be moving back to the main site; probably because once I am there they don’t actually know where to stick me. Again.

Next week… more moving both at work and at home. My friend has a new flat whoop whoop!

Question: 8

Why does NO ONE in my life ever think to ask me how I feel or even notice that I want them to?

Musings - Walk Around the Water

Having a dog means that I get out (occasionally) and about (when I can be bothered). Like anything that is good for you and requires a little effort, taking Rohan out isn't actually as bad as I think it is going to be once I'm doing it. It's just the idea of getting off my arse on a Sunday afternoon... I'm lazy.

The other Sunday we decided to head to a local walk called Ogden Water. A council maintained reservoir surrounded by woods and streams and an ice cream van. It's one of my favourite places and, okay I admit, well worth leaving the sofa for. With the recent snow OW has been a winter wonderland and now we are thawed it's still a wonderland just a rather muddy one. Rohan loves it though; my car and carpets... not so much.

That's her on the right with the inane grin and flapping behind her ears.

There is something almost mystic about OW (if you ignore all the dog doo left over from idiot owners) and more often than not when you look over the water you can almost picture Heaven peeping through the clouds. I have started to take my camera with me and, when Rohan isn't trying to knock me flying by jumping at the back of my knees, I have been able to get some nice shots. I won't win any competitions but my photos, I think, manage to encapsulate what the Water is about.

The Second photo shows the Heaven I was talking about, peeping, guarding over the squirrels and the ducks.

There are a variety of walks around the Water. For the stroller there is a path that runs around the edge from the car park to the dam to the visitor centre (yeah it has a little one of those too) and back to the car park.

For the more adventurous there are the woodland walks taking you up and down, through the mud and in and amongst the nature of it all. The woodlands also include trails for children with markers to look out for such as giant wooden rodents and a thigh high carved mushroom which looks uncannily like a big 'willy'. (I didn't take a photo of that... didn't want to look like a mushroom stalking perv).

There are also the stream walks. A little rocky, uneven and potentially foot wetting. Not for the average plodder I'm afraid.

Alternatively, find one of the many benches, take a seat, bask in the sun and refuse to move.

Here is Rohan again, pleading for a treat because she came back to her whistle call. The photo doesn't show that it took four whistles and a lot of huffing on her part before she would come back. That's her cute face, it comes hand in hand with the pleading.

As mentioned above, around Ogden Water there are a variety of benches for you to rest your legs. These benches are memorial in nature. They come with little plaques dedicated to loved ones. I always sit and take in the view, make sure that a good spot was chosen.


Photo 4 is taken from one of these benches. I can not remember the name detailed on it (even though at the time it felt important that I remember) and out of all the benches I sat on (much to Rohan's disgust) this was my favourite view.

You can just make out the ice still surrounding the edge of the water.


Now I love the walk and the water, the memories and glimpse of perfection but what I love the most is the recycling. Bizarre, huh? Ogden Water as a body of liquid is surrounded by a woven fence made from old Christmas trees and holly wreaths. Not only is it good for the environment but it looks beautiful and smells absolutely amazing.

So what I am trying to say is... if you have a favourite place, one that makes you feel magical and mystical and that little bit closer to heaven; go as often as you can. The sofa will always be there when you get home. :)

Lyrics - I think they said it best...

I think the Dixie Chicks said it best when they sang...

Some days you gotta dance
Live it up when you get the chance
'Cause when the world doesn't make no sense
And you're feeling just a little too tense
Gotta loosen up those chains and dance.

:) x

Photo - Rohan and Me

Rohan and Me and a little Photoshop.

Zen - Shuffle is on!

Here are ten songs that I was just played on shuffle (one after the other - no cheating)...

1. Lenny Kravitz - Can't Get You Off My Mind.
2. Red Hot Chili Peppers - C'mon Girl
3. Michael Jackson - Black Or White
4. Richard Gibbs - One More Thing.
5. KCI and JoJo - All My Life.
6. Daniel Bedingfield - Nothing Hurts Like Love.
7. Sister Hazel - All For You.
8. The Magic Numbers - Hymn For Her.
9. The Rolling Stones - (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction.
10. Matt Nathanson - Pretty The World.

Observation - Did he really just say that!?

While in work today I observed the most ridiculous showing of intimidation gone wrong.

Two work colleagues were, today, going to be interviewed for the same post. A promotion.

My female colleague was preparing herself quietly at her desk when the male colleague came into the room to stand beside her.

He said...

"I wouldn't by any big novels if I were you, you don't look so well today." (Sniggers and walks off).

Now is it just me or is this guy a complete and utter fool? Actually I am not feeling polite, he is a dickhead! Who in their right mind would say that to a person. I admit if he had meant it to be funny we might have laughed but he didn't so there was silence.

Tut.

Question: 7

How can I make myself into a more interesting read?