Friday, 26 February 2010

Diary - February 19th to 25th 2010

Diary – Feb 19th to 25th

This week has been about three things…
1. Squeezing the little man and coping quite surprisingly
2. Study, study, professional discussion, exam, study, class and more study
3. Confusion in the ranks

I got to meet George! And he is wonderful. He was sick on me which I think is a sign that he loves me already. Plus he fell asleep on me for hours which I also see as a sign that I have a naturally calming maternal instinct. Ha ha. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be. I didn’t look at their little family unit and feel bitterness; just a little sigh.

This week has also been filled with exams, classes and portfolios. I am slowly working my way to completing my qualifications. I have enjoyed the renewed learning. I might have to find something else to occupy my mind when I am done. I am open to suggestions of something new. I don’t usually like new but I don’t care this year. I need to push myself and keep my mind from sadder times.

On a strange note, the first guy I ever loved broke my heart this week; or rather it got chipped but it was no one’s fault. I will always love this guy. I can’t help it. Up until I die he will always hold a piece of my heart. This week his girlfriend gave birth to a little boy and I felt oddly devastated. Part of me knows it hurts because I love him and the other part knows I am just reacting to someone else having a baby when I can’t. I send them love and best wishes in buckets as I feel awful for my feelings. It’s not their fault, after all, that I am a confused bag of silly emotions and malfunctioning body parts. I will be happy one day even if it feels like I am waiting forever for it.

Next week… I hope to be surprised. It’s been a while.

2 comments:

  1. Now I myself don't pick a man of the week. Just not really my thing, but my friend Andrea and I did just go to see Hugh's latest off broadway play and as my friend refers to him, "Fancy Hugh Dancy" was quite fancy. He did a great job. So I can see why you might make him your man of the week. My dream is to be some woman's man of the week instead of just their, "Man who looks weak."

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  2. Unfortunately poor Hugh has now been passed over for Matthew Goode. I am fickle. Alas. Though the fickleness has a story… My friend and I have had a different Man of The Week each week for the past 10 years. We have a tradition so, while Hugh might feel bruised from where he hit the curb after my kicking him there, all is not lost. He might well get there again. Especially, if as you say, there is something fancy about this young Dancy. :) x

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Go on... say it. :) xx

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