Snippets - My Novel: An Extract...

I am currently working on a project about a Fallen Angel. He is given a reprieve from hell to do the Arc Angels a favour but all it not what it seems. Here is a small extract detailing his fall... please let me know what you think; be truthful but gentle. :) And I suppose I should say please don't plagiarise.

Adriel.

Adriel’s fall had been swift. There had been no ‘one phone call’ or final meal. He had questioned and Gabriel as the right hand had judged, sentenced and opened the gateway between the top and the bottom of existence. It had pained him to do it, had pained Heaven to watch and ultimately Adriel had paid with an eternity of his own hurts. Unlike some others of his kind Adriel had never been mortal and while not an excuse it was a valid reason for his somewhat misguided nature.

The swiftness of his departure had in part been due to his calling; to instil Hope there must be no doubt. Hope as an entity or emotion had not been born with Adriel, more the other way around. Optimism and trust had produced a spark which had glistened and formed just outside of Heaven’s realm. Like a star on a clear night or a flash that the sun creates upon the ripple of water’s motion; it had captured the conscious of all who saw it. And Bright Side with its butterfly net of golden promise had scooped it up and thus Hope had existed. When an ambassador had been called for, God had breathed his wisdom. Out of the blinding light had come forth Adriel. Fresh as a daisy, un-jaded, ready for action; with only a little guidance he had been a credit to his peers. Yet, with only a little uncertainty he had become a vast disappointment.

A conversation. That had been all that had stood between fiery damnation and the weight of an angel’s wings. All he had needed to do was keep his mouth shut and ponder in private but something, conscience perhaps, had compelled Adriel Angel of Hope to speak out loud. Bright side, Angels are neither old or young; they just are. They exist almost on a plane of always being. In mortal terms Adriel was young in the sense that he was naive. His faith in his abilities and those tasks employed by God had in essence been what had caused his doubts. The realisation that on occasion he was doomed to fail is his heavenly quest to give hope to the people had formed the question… why bother? Angels serve yet Man in his ignorance is favourite? Once his mind had been open to the littlest of doubts a cavern had formed, deep and dark, enticing more questions. Adriel might have fallen from Grace but Grace fell first in its inability to stay on the pedestal which an Angel born of heaven had placed it upon.

     “What is heaven when Man gets to feel?” When Adriel spoke out loud Micah froze in place.
     “We have God’s presence.” Adriel missed his friend’s pleading expression to silence himself. Micah felt the prickle of awareness on the back of his neck; the Arcs were listening.
     “Do we? Really? They have everything, his love, his Earth, his forgiveness.”
     “We have immortality.”
     “He gave them paradise and they betrayed him yet he sent his only son to perish at their hand in an attempt to redeem them. Why are they so worthy?” This time the Angel of Hope also felt that prickle, that warning against his skin to halt his words and keep silent. Yet he was unable.
     “Man is created in his image…”
     “Then what is the point of being an Angel when our divine presence, our teachings can be ignored but with a little repentance at the end Man can make it Bright Side anyway?”
     “Talk like that is what gets an Angel fallen.” Gabriel, blinding with awe and steel, suddenly stood before them his expression grim.
     “I’m voicing an opinion not starting a war.” Adriel was unable to meet his brother’s harsh expression.
     “You are an Angel. You don’t get an opinion.”
     “In that case what is the point of having wings? To exist in a half life, for eternity?”
     “You were given Heaven!” Awe and steel thundered.
     “So were you but don’t you ever wonder if it would have been better to earn it!?” Adriel’s anger erupted; an answering lightning flash to the warning rumble.
     “Enough!” This time Adriel knew that he had pushed too far. He felt suddenly hot; not from mortification but from something else, something infernal.
     “Gabriel…”
     “With Lucifer’s example, you should have known better.”
     “Are you threatening me?” The waver in the young Angel’s voice betrayed his bravado, his wings suddenly heavy with consequence.
     “I don’t need to, it has already been taken care of.”
     “What has?” Micah finally spoke, a fear in his tone.
     “He questioned.”
     “No!”
     “Micah? You have got to be kidding me, Micah!” Lightning flashed once more only this time the fork found its victim and Adriel perished before them.

Some had understood his important questions but as faithful servants they had shown their feathery backs to their fallen friend on his judgement day. Back in the day when Lucifer had questioned there had been war. The righteous and the newly impious had battled, forging the original feud between good and evil. For Adriel there had been no time for the building of notoriety, he was merely there one moment and gone the next with only the whisperings of his departure causing the pale down of wings to ruffle. The Arcs had been determined to avoid another scandal. Hasty in their actions they had not considered the consequences. Now, an eternity later, a game had been set in motion; a game with two rule books, one public and one hidden. Bright Side was rife with secrets.

So.... what do you think???