Snippet - Remember me?

I would like to be all dramatic and say that I have become a stranger in my own life, my own memoirs have become a forgotten list of whimsy.

But me, be dramatic? Surely not!

What I am saying is I think I'm back... You might be hearing from me once again.

I think. ;) xx


- Posted with the i rather than the net...

Musings - Letters...

I want a pen pal. And I mean an actual person I can write to using an actual pen and a post box.


No one writes letters any more. It makes me feel a little melancholy to think that email and texting is it for our future.

So I have a new mission! To find someone around the world to give me a moment of their time and the price of a stamp.

But where do I start? :) xx


- Posted with the i rather than the net...

Musings - Blues...

The world seems to still be misguided by the colour grey, blah blah blah so this week I have spat in the shades and added a little blue.

You see I have come across Blues Traveler...


And while not usually my type of music, the CD I downloaded has grown on me. Sort of blues meets folk meets rock.

Great for driving to and even writing to... :) xx

- Posted on the move...

Musings - Getting creative...

Does anyone else find it easier to write if they have an awesome soundtrack playing the the background?


I currently have Ernie Halter, Blue Traveler and Ryan O'Shaughnessy aiding my creative flow. :) xx


- Posted on the move...

Musings - Target set...

From close of work today I have set myself a writing target of 3000 words. This has to be achieved before I retire to bed on Sunday.


And it has to be freehand. I am going old school, going to see if pen and paper can get me all inspired again.

Fingers crossed... ;) xx

- Posted with a plan...

Musings - Is thirty past it?..

Thirty and flirty and thriving?


Right, by thirty I take it they mean after thirty-two because, while I might have the smile of the flirt down, thriving I am not.

What is to thrive? Let’s find some synonyms… flourish, prosper, succeed, boom, bloom and blossom? Increase? I take it I am supposed to be more than I am, or at least want more than I am and have an aim to be it, get it and have it?

So let’s be all Sound of Music about it and start at the beginning… what do I want?

Top 3 that come to mind without any thought, just finger to key:
1. To be able to have a successful career as a writer.
2. To be financially secure and have the benefits of that security.
3. To have someone look me in the eye and know that I have blown their mind.

The first two points are obviously, for the most part, intertwined and relatively within my control. EFFORT EFFORT EFFORT! Make some!
And the third point, well, let’s not dwell on that one two much as this one is customarily reserved for my alter ego leading lady.

Now I need a game plan. A challenge! I do so love a challenge. Maybe I need to push myself more, my alter ego leading lady is not as patient as she once was.

Top 3 challenges that come to mind without any thought, just finger to key:
1. Write 30 poems from July 2012 to June 2012. One year, barely a poem per week, in the same format and all ending with a sonnet … line.
2. Write 30 reviews from July 2012 to June 2012 (are you sensing a theme) on anything that I watch, visit or buy. And put some effort into the review!
3. Read 30 books, okay I am not going to type that again, over the next year and in no less than 500 words talk about it. I know this is like a review but I wanted the additional challenge of actually reading.

So, in theory, I should be able to undertake and achieve my challenges. Right?

It doesn’t look that hard, thirty is a nice even easy number… it’s flirty. :) xx


- Posted on the move...

Musings - Moi, moi, moi...

Have you ever taken the time to write a paragraph about yourself? An about me?

It is actually a lot harder than you think! I tried it… an hour later I had deleted several inane lines of shallow description and developed a frown line.

I found myself with a number of questions:
What do people want to know?
What do I want them to know?
What am I willing to disclose?
Am I brave enough?
Am I interesting enough?

I decided to let my fingers type to a natural pause and simply read ‘me’ back. This is my about me…



Hi… I’m Stacy.

I have blonde hair, blue eyes and petit facial features which I hide behind a pair of terracotta spectacles. I am of average build, average height and average pretty much everything else. I excel at little and coast at a lot. I like to read, watch and listen, making me an observer rather than a doer. I am left handed, live by an inner imaginary soundtrack made up of soft rock songs and my iPhone is usually glued to my hand. I am a Nicholas Sparks quote ‘I am a common (wo)man with common thoughts and I have led a common life…’ but I have had neither the joy nor the tragedy to warrant a full page.

I like eyes and I like the intimacy of their contact. My heart races on a daily basis and my heart aches just as much. I play at being happy in those moments when I am not, often a fraud in my own skin. But I fake a sparkle well, I can always have an interest in your interests, you can count on that. I am dependable, understandable, a nifty phone a friend. Daughter, woman, wife, mother, me occurring in that order with the exception of the ‘me’. Have I found me yet? I had plans for my life, now I have new plans. I want to make my daughter proud; I figure I have a few years yet to get my act together or rather my write together. I openly blog each day about that day but I am shy by nature. I am not the life of the party but I am the smile of laughter when the music dies.

I am hopeful that there is some exceptionality in my veins; I am optimistic at least, a realist with an optimistic outlook… I know the glass is half empty but I am willing to top that metaphorical liquid to the top. Someday, somehow, somewhere you will know me and think ‘I remember her, she used to be ordinary.’ And you will be wrong. I will still be ordinary… I will just have found a way to make you believe that to live life like you are dreaming out loud is to be remarkable.

Now it’s your turn… :) xx


- Posted wryly...

Musings - Mama Kats Workshop (19th April 2012)

7 Things your pet thought about today...

This is the writing post I have chosen this week from Mama Kat's Writing Workshop and I admit I have cheated slightly. The prompts I received on Tuesday so after thinking about it I decided to follow our pet around yesterday and snap her in action.

My pet, or rather our furry extended family member is ROHAN. She is a three year old Border Terrier with a loving yet nutty personality. She loves toys, sausages and long walks.

Here are 7 things she thought about...

"Do I really have to get out of bed?"

Rohan loves sleeping in our bed.

We tried at first to get her to sleep downstairs but she howled, so we got her a basket in our room but she simply waits until we are asleep and climbs in with us.

"One day, when Katharine isn't looking, that toy will be mine!"

So far Rohan has ignored Katharine's toys, she has enough of her own to be playing with. But there is something about the way that Roo sits in the cot, taunting her from behind the bars, that really intrigues her. She stops by every morning for a look see.

"I love stretching, I do."

She gets up, she stretches. She sits down, she stretches. She looks out of the window, she stretches. She fills her belly with treats... I think you get the picture.

"I want a treat. If I look cute enough..."

When Rohan was a puppy we taught her many tricks and her favourite is to say please. This is where she sits on her haunches with her front paws in the air. Her expression usually resembles a furry Angel which is about the point when you can't refuse her anything. She uses this trick whenever she wants something, treats being the choice in the photograph.

"What's for tea?"

Rohan's eating habits are not in the least bit dog like. She is as fussy as a three year old child. We have a routine now where we will provide her with food, which she will refuse to eat until we provide her with a sausage. Sigh, if she ever decides she doesn't like sausages I do not know what we'll do.

"No one can hurt you tonight, not on my watch."

Ever the protector, the slightest noise and she is thinking about who might be coming to get her family. All bark and no bite though ha ha but we love her for that.

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

The place she sleeps, nestled on Daddy's shoulder. There is nothing lovelier than warming yourself against a furry monster as she curls up in a little ball.

So you see, Rohan isn't complicated... she is just a pooch who knows exactly what she wants. :) xx

http://www.mamakatslosinit.com/

DIARY - 9th April to 15th April 2012

This week has been about three things…
1. Having no clue what I have done with my time,
2. Finding that the house has more toys in it than anything else,
3. Turning 90, him not me.

So Monday was Bank Holiday and spent still visiting in Stafford and then travelling home. But as for Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I can not recall a thing. It is almost like those days did not exist but they had to have… because while I might be quite fanciful, the world just isn’t.

I remember going to my slimming class, but let us not talk about that. I remember finding out that I am once again moving offices, and I feel a rant coming on every time I think about it. And I remember watching The Vampire Diaries… so some things occurred if not that overly exciting. Sorry Ian Somerhalder, Matthew Davis outshone you this week.

Following Katharine’s birthday, our house is littered with toys. They have found their way into every room, are under foot, hidden in handbags and are so obtrusive in their sounds, size and silliness that I feel like I will get buried under the lot and never be found again. She will have to wait until next year before she gets anything else! And then it will be a single book which she can sit and read quietly.

Friday was my Step-Granddad’s 90th birthday party. It was held at the local YMCA which was always going to be entertaining. The drinks didn’t cost a fortune, the buffet was delicious and music, which was clearly aimed at my folks generation, was toe tapping. I even got Katharine on the dance floor for a boogie. I can’t wait until she is old enough to really take a turn with me. We will be swinging and grooving the night away.

The weekend has been full of vegetating, eating too much food and trying to shake off the melancholy. I think it has been a week of post Easter Holiday blues. But I need to get my moxi back as it is now only nine sleeps until I see NKOTB live in Manchester!!!!

My advice for next week… get your head in the game folks, we only live once!

Musings - Mama Kats Workshop (12th April 2012)

I am joining in Mama Kat's writing workshop this week as I haven't for a while and I promised to make more of an effort.

The prompt I chose this week was 1) What did you want your name to be?

Firstly I would like to start with reasons why I don't feel much like the name I was given...

My name is Stacy and, let's face it, you can't help but have noticed that girls with my name are always the Cheerleader who dies first... usually from a particularly nasty Zombie bite.

My name is Stacy and my name was voted most likely (somewhere) to be a bunny in the Playboy Mansion.

My name is Stacy and if you google that one word and click on the images all you get are semi-naked greased tanned blonde women in very revealing poses.

My name is Stacy and people generally underestimate me because of it.

I have never cheered in formation, other than a Mexican wave, only about 5% of me is prosthetic, I am not a porn star and I am smarter than you might think. Rant rant rant! And I know all you Marmaduke's and MoonUnits out there are thinking 'Really? Stacy? You are moaning about that?'. But being blonde, bubbly and called the S word... I am definitely smarter than you might think, damn it! :)

But my exclamation marks are mostly in jest, it could have been worse and as lately I have had trouble chosing the name of another I can appreciate the effort my parents put into it.

Yet if I remember rightly, during our games of let's pretend as a child, I wanted to be called Tiffani... but if you google that I doubt it is much of an improvement. :) xx

www.mamakatslosinit.com

Musings - G for Get yourself in order...

No one keeps their USB memory device all neat and organised, if you say you do you are lying or completely anal and clearly have too much time on your hands. My memory stick, my external HD as my netbook calls it, is a disgrace.

Photos are misfiled all over the place meaning that there are potentially several copies of the same ones.
I have a folder for each project I am working on yet most of them are still empty because I haven’t gotten around to filing all my project bits in them.

Every time get a new computer or laptop (I seem to kill them on a regular basis) I simply copy all the ‘my documents’ into a folder on my HD and label it OLD LAPTOP or TO SORT. I currently have three to sorts, an old laptop and a ‘FROM NETTY’.

I have this fear though, however irrational, about sorting out my stuff. Because I know that I will remember that I once had a certain about of dedication to my writing, my blog, my life… I will read through my musings and laugh, and then feel sad because I am no longer funny. Sigh. I will look at how I used to love documenting my existence, my dreams and how I was so readily inspired.
When I first started my blog I had grit and depth… now I am falling asleep by 9pm.

I used to write a diary, once a week, summing up what had happened in the last seven days. It WAS humorous! It WAS a good read! But back then I had interesting things to say. I had wit, damn it. I would put aside the time to write 600 words on what had occurred and I loved doing it.

Now I have to put time aside to remember to make a packed lunch for an almost one year old.
SO… to the point of this post… I am reinstating the diary! It might not be every week but I am gonna give it a try.

So let me start in a format that always warmed me to follow…
This (last) week has been about three things…
1. Falling all over again for one quarter of McFly
2. Walking in the sunshine and feeling marvellous for it
3. Worrying about the fact that there are only poor schools near our house.

And my advice for next week… Love thy neighbour for if they move they may just sell to someone really horrible.

And get that memory stick in order!
:) xx

Musings - Mama Kat's Workshop (15th March 2012)

This week Mama Kat has given for the offering a number of prompts that could take my fancy but as I have never been to either of the Disneylands and Katharine is a little young to know about the birds and the bees...

I have chosen... 1) Share your favourite part of your child's bedroom.

When we were deciding on the theme for the Nursery we fell in love with two characters called Zeddy and Parsnip, a little Zebra and his best friend the Bunny. The colours were pale coffee browns and light lemon yellow.

When Katharine was born, as I have mentioned in previous posts, I decided to make a sign for her wall with her name on it. Let's face it, with KATHARINE LORELAI as a name she is going to need a little help learning how to spell it.

So after about eight months I finally had it finished and up on the wall.

And it is this, my love painted and stuck on to canvas, that is my favourite part of my daughter's room.

So come on... join in at http://www.mamakatslosinit.com/  :) xx

Musings - Trifecta Writing Challenge (TRAIL)

Trifecta have gone with the tried and tested challenge this week of a word and its third definition...
trail verb \ˈtrāl\
3: to move, flow, or extend slowly in thin streams
Here is my offering...

I had the audacity to signal ‘goodbye’ with the wave of a raised palm. I watched, dispassionate at my actions, hearten by the sequence of events about to unfurl.

From the space at my feet the glimmering rainbowed stream trailed out; made a tacky ribbon of fume and fluid.

Tyres crunched gravel and clouded dust as distance was coursed.

Taking from my pocket the final gift from my misplaced father, I studied the cold titanium design of the flaming sword. Like Uriel I was to be guardian, to banish from this earthly paradise the unjust.

With the flick of my gloved thumb I brought warmth to the titanium through its sparked flame.

I raised my eyes, still dispassionate, and tipped the flame and housing from my hand. I heard the crackle of a well marked landing, the roar as fire consumed its trail of fuel.

I turned away, walked away without even a flinch as moments later the silence was broken by the blast.

You can find out more about this challenge, past challenges and those that have yet to take the stage at http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/

Musings - Trifecta Writing Challenge (EXCLAMATION!)

Trifecta have given we writers an exciting challenge this weekend!

You can find out more on their website http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/ but let me tell you what it is...

"This weekend's challenge is to give us a story or snippet of a story which includes, in exactly 33 words, a justified exclamation point.  Make us believe that your exclamation point simply needs to be in your story."

I found it quite difficult. I use exclamation marks all the time, in my blog / texts, but never in a formal setting, and I know for a fact that very few of them would ever be classed as justified.

So I pondered, taking in to account my burgeoning characters and this is what I decided up on...

I took aim; string taut and arrow poised.

Hands steady; no tremor, no hesitation.

Pupils dilated; no blink stirred my amber lashes.

I released; whoosh, crack.

Wood splintered; relief, I still had it!

***

So, what do you think? Justified? :) xx

Musings - Mama Kat's Workshop (8th March 2012)

This week Mama Kat has given me the perfect prompt.

Since having Katharine and since meeting an extremely inspiring individual who has refused to let cancer beat him, I have thought more and more about what is important to me. So this week's prompt put a smile on my face and made it so easy for me to take some time and complete it.

THE PROMPT: On The Bachelor a rose is given to the women he could really see himself spending the rest of his life with. What six things in your life would you like to give a rose to and why?

And my six...

My Baby - Because she is my life. :)

My Man - Because he is my monster. :)

My Pooch - Because she is my furry hot water bottle. :)

My folks - Because they made me who I am. :)

My BFF - Because she listens and laughs in all the right places. :)

And my books - Because, let's face it, they are my first love ha ha. :)

So what would be your six?

Who read this and, with raised eyebrow,

realised their spouse would not make the list above chocolate? :) xx

www.mamakatslosinit.com

Musings - Trifecta Weekday Challenge (VULGAR)

This weeks Trifecta challenge is to incorporate a chosen word and its meaning into a section of writing with a word limit of between 33 and 333 words. This week's word is:

Vulgar
3 a : of or relating to the common people : plebeian
b : generally current : public
c : of the usual, typical, or ordinary kind

And this weeks repsonse is this:

“To hide effectively one must hide in plain sight.”

I remembered my father’s teachings now, as I stood unadorned in the market place.

I was anyone in any crowd; a woman merely browsing stalls of over priced scraps. Pastel clothing, skin and colouring. I was uneventful, unmemorable, unrecognisable as intended. Only the man who knew the blue of my eyes and the bittersweet of a final kiss would pick me out, yet he must not.

In the moments, days, since he had presented me with his back, let me leave; against his morals, his teachings and the demands of his badge, I had kept within a raised voice of his portentous presence. I was his protector and I lingered undetected; I had been raised too well to be revealed.

“Find your mark, become his scenery, let him see you,

empty space reveals far more than an overflowing glance.”

So I watched his life, the vulgar repetition and lack of spectrum that came from all that was commonplace. Before our precarious sport of cat and mouse his life had found its well worn trail and deviated little. I cursed my influence, my perplexing existence and its interference to his.

I cursed more the need I felt, the urge to exchange that raised voice for a whisper. My life was a culmination of violence, exile, deception and the outlandish circumstances of a gun for hire. I had known nothing else until I had known him, had needed nothing and felt nothing.

Now, like my broad reluctant saving enforcer, I had a resurfacing soul. I was suddenly conscious of my conscience. He had taken my hand and stamped me with a hidden ultraviolet marker. Some imaginary bolded font that read NOW TYPICAL.

“It is not your aim that makes you sought

but your ability to barricade your compassion.”

Clearly my father, in his forty years of bullion standard butchery, had never been in love.

***

Join in at http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/

Musings - Trifecta Writing Challenge (The phone rang at 4am...)

This weekend, my second for participation, the Trifecta Writing Challenge has asked for a response with a limit of 33 words. Having the word restriction is absolutely amazing, even after only two weeks I feel like a am training my brain to think again, to love words again.

The challenge set on Friday was to complete the following story in only 33 words... The phone rang at 4am.

Here is my completed, toiled, response...

The phone rang at 4am.

A shrill, repetitive, definitive trial.

Freedom, held, suspended on a thread; love on a whisper. I witnessed indecision, comprehended inner conflict; pleaded, silently, for clemency.

Three words, hope soared unencumbered.

“I lost her.”

***

Why not join in yourselves if you feel like a challenge is just what you need... :) xx

http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/

Musings - Trifecta Weekday Challenge (WRETCHED)

I find myself once again enticed and excited at the idea of taking part in my second Trifecta writing challenge. This week we are tasked with the third definition of the word WRETCHED with the only rule being a word count between 33 and 333.

wretched adjective

3: being or appearing mean, miserable, or contemptible

Having being inspired by the last challenge I decided to continue with the same idea but I have jumped ahead from a first meeting to a final one.

Here is my response to this challenge...

I was driving him away, an actress centre stage, a play of spiteful harsh reality.

I was an unsolicited force, allowing him no time to breathe, to catch his thoughts. I was the appearing blooded sword to his pierced and bleeding heart.

Cruelty in human form, devoid of the comfort that I was being kind, I wore the contemptible pitted cloak of misdirection. I pushed with all my being except my traitorous groping heart.

He was vivid light to the obscurity of my existence, this shadowed path not of my choosing; the cobbled crippling alleyway paved with the unspeakables of which I could not taint him with. Would not…

He was the last vestige of my humanity; without him I would not survive.

Yet without me would be his only chance.

We both acknowledged the motivation for my closing performance but only I had the understanding. Only I saw no future in the carnage of the last good man.

Dejection, rejection and the consequenting anger hung in the air like the rich aroma of a burning Macchiato blend, overpowering in bitterness and misery.

The damaged fragments of my hollowed soul revelled in the renewed hardness of his eyes, time returned to our first union when his only sensation was to be hunter to my prey.

My wretchedness was his out, his escape; connection withered as intended.

For to love me would be his undoing.

To let him would be mine.

(Check out the challenge for yourself, there is some amazing writing taking place at http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/)

:) xx

MOTW - The Boy's Hardy...

As you know I am a fan of all things movie, all things beefy and all actors that I can class as my Man of The Week.

Well, for the last few weeks my MOTW has gained that status by a narrow margin, that is there have been several contenders but non have really made a fantastic impact. These men have not earned the glory but more stumbled upon it because nothing greater has come along.

Yesterday afternoon, lazy Sunday... I witnessed the greatness that so far much of 2012 had been lacking.

Yesterday I watched 'Warrior'.

Yesterday a tiny bit of me fell in love with Tom Hardy.





Not only is he one of the most versatile actors around at the moment but he is home British grown and absolutely mesmerising to watch. His character in the film was conflicted, violent yet vulnerable and Tom played him with such majestic force that it was hard to take your eyes from him when ever he appeared on screen.

Brains and brawn in a package of outstanding talent; so far he is MOTW without a doubt.

Let's just hope he can hold on until Saturday when the final decision has to be made.

What do you think, is he worthy? :) xx

Posted while the husband tries to get the offspring to sleep...

Musings - Trifecta Writing Challenge (33 Word Picture Response)

This week I came across a fantastic website, http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/, and decided to take part in their weekend writing challenge...

'For this weekend's Trifextra Challenge, we are asking for a 33-word response to the picture below. Make what you will of it; there are no rules. Poetry, prose, comedy, drama--just give us 33 words, on the button. Have fun with it.'

 And as I love a challenge here is my response...
 

Colombian brown eyes, watched, Machiavellian, unnerving. I fixed instead upon the prop premeditated to expose me. He had traced me, caught me; his mind convinced but his evidence deficient. My escape was vital.

 

Now, why don't you visit the site and see what others have wrote and may be even join in yourself. :) xx